Medical Jokes...

A List of Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:

• Oops! 
• Has anyone seen my watch? 
• Come back with that! Bad Dog!
• Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
• Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingy
• What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!
• Damn, there go the lights again...
• Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
• Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
• What do you mean, he's not insured?
• Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Bay Watch"
• What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
• FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

Pulling out a tooth
Dentist: Don’t worry, it will take me only a minute to pull your tooth out.
Patient:  And how much will it cost me?
Dentist: $100
Patient: For a 1 minute job?!
Dentist: If you prefer, I can be pulling it out for one hour...

LMAO!

At psychiatrist:
- Do you consume alcohol?
- No.
- Do you smoke?
- No.
- Do you use drugs?
- No.
- Do you play cards?
- No.
- Do you run after other women?
- No.
- So why did you come to me?
- You see, doc, I have one little problem - I lie a lot...

LOL....this makes me remember taking a history from a difficult/dishonest patient...Phew!


A doctor of a small village drives a car at 150 km/h.
His wife: Honey, why are you driving so fast - there might be a policeman around the corner and he would stop you.
Doctor: Don't worry, darling, yesterday I told him to stay in bed.

Last joke
Remember when you are wishing your friends good health, you are wishing unemployment for doctors. Lol..

Do have a pleasant day. X